Adoptee, sibling reunite in #California

 Half-siblings Gina Aragona and Maynard Smith stand together in Stockton. The brother and sister met for the first time during New Year’s weekend thanks to G.J. Chris Graves, a retired gentleman who helps adopted children and birth parents find each other. Photo courtesy Maynard Smith

By Sara Hayden                        

About 160 miles northeast of Pescadero is the rural town of Newcastle. There are about 1,200 residents and people are so spread out that it could feel isolated. So 71-year-old G.J. Chris Graves takes great pains to reach out to the world from there — especially to people he’s never met before.

Recently, the retired bank vice president drafted an unusual email to the Review. He was looking for photographs of one Yvonne J. Smith.“Her partner is deceased, her house has burned down. This email is about the last gasp we are making to find a photo of her,” Graves’ message explained. “This is to give to her daughter, adopted out at birth.”



Who is Ms. Smith?

The Review found no photos in its archives and learned only a little about Smith, based on a memorial announcement that ran in the paper on May 9, 2001.

It said Smith had lived in Pescadero the last 21 years of her life — that she had a “‘sparkling’ presence at the Pescadero Art & Fun Festival.” There, she sold chili with Ron Roeschlaub, her partner of 23 years.

Before Smith died, she told Roeschlaub that she didn’t want a funeral. She wanted a party.

She ended up with a parade.

On May 13, 2001, a Sunday, a parade in her honor wound along Stage Road from the I.D.E.S. Hall to the Pescadero Community Church.

A Scottish bagpiper helped lead the way. A donkey-drawn cart, decorated with black roses, carried Smith’s bones in the back. Medieval-style dancers pranced around them, accompanied by European country-dance music, and a local rock band met the procession at the end at I.D.E.S. Hall when the parade came full circle.



Soul seeker

Graves has been able to fill in some of the blanks about Smith with basic information, despite never having known the woman. He learned when her birthday was, that she had had children, married and divorced. With scant clues, he was even able to find some of her friends in the Pescadero community.

When Graves isn’t tending his outdoor master garden, he is particularly keen at scouring the Internet in response to inquiries to find people like Smith...

Graves is a self-proclaimed “Search Angel,” helping adopted children find their birth parents, and vice-versa.

“Do you want to know what pain is, my friend? … There’s 9,349 people looking for someone in the state of California alone. That’s a lot of pain,” said Graves. He added that on birth parent search websites such as Adoption Registry Connect, three to five new inquiries are listed every day. Search Angels like Graves all over the country work around the clock to answer the inquiries.

The interest started shortly after Graves’ retirement in the mid-1990s. First, his wife’s cousin wanted to find a birth mother, followed by a man in his 30s whom Graves had hired to paint his house. Graves took it upon himself to locate them — and succeeded.

Read the rest here: http://www.hmbreview.com/news/family-seeks-past-and-finds-future-together/article_397588fe-55d1-11e2-8602-0019bb2963f4.html



What about the other 9,348 people looking for someone in California?

There is help for those looking for family

On the hunt for roots, medical information or answers in general, some adoptees go on a wild goose chase to find their loved ones. Although professional investigative services are an option, they’re not the only way. Cheaper alternatives might be available.

State adoption processes may be riddled with bureaucracy, but various pieces of legislation have been put in place to make the search for a birth parent or child easier.

California is an example of a state that offers a mutual consent program. That means that both adoptees who are 18 and older and birth parents may have the right to contact each other if both parties consent. Siblings who participate in the program may also get in touch with each other. To do so, they must submit consent forms to the California Department of Social Services or the agency from which the child was adopted.

Adoptees 21 and older can also request the name and address of a birth parent from one of the above agencies via the Adoptions Information Act. The information is available if the birth parent signed an Adoptions Information Act Statement granting permission to do so.

CDSS or the adoption agency may also provide non-identifying information. That won’t reveal specifics such as the name of the parent or a date of birth, but provides potentially useful details such as health and medical records, education and work information, description of physical appearance and more, based on interviews with birth parents.

For more information, contact the CDSS at (916) 651-8088.

You can also create a profile on an adoption search database such as www.adopteeconnect.com

Search Angels like G.J. Chris Graves are also available to help people find each other for free on a volunteer basis.  Email Graves at caliron@att.net.