How To Heal? Domestic Violence Awareness Month

During
Domestic Violence Awareness Month, StrongHearts Native Helpline is
dedicated to eradicating domestic and sexual violence by utilizing a
core message of healing

How do YOU heal?

From StrongHearts Native Helpline

It’s
easy to tell someone that it’s time to heal. What isn’t so easy is
understanding that not everyone heals in the same way or at the same
pace. StrongHearts Native Helpline understands that when it comes to
healing there is no such thing as one size fits all. That is why it is
so important to call attention to healing and to ask yourselves and
relatives: How do you heal?

“As
traditional people, it is customary to put our loved ones before
ourselves. We do this because we love them and want to take care of
them. But, when it comes to Native people loving and caring for
themselves, it can feel like we are betraying our humble values,” said
StrongHearts Chief Executive Officer Lori Jump. “When it comes to
healing, we must make a fundamental decision to take care of ourselves
and to teach our children that whatever it takes, it’s okay to love
ourselves enough to heal from the trauma of domestic and sexual
violence.” 

Make
a commitment to yourself to identify what you can do to feel better,
look better and live better. Please take time to review and enjoy the
following tips on self-care and self-love.

What Is Self-Love? 

Self-love
means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything
that you are. It means putting your physical, emotional and mental
well-being first. It means that you recognize that through self-care you
can accomplish your goals and live your best life. It means taking care
of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being for others.
Self-love and care means not settling for less than you deserve.

Culturally significant ways to practice self-care and self-love can include the following activities:

●      Traditions:
Continuing or renewing traditions can promote healing especially when
practicing the methods taught to us by our ancestors. It is through our
connection to the past that we can find healing; and it is our link to
the future that we can guide our children on their own healing
journeys.   

●      Ceremony:
There are a number of cleansing ceremonies that can induce healing such
as participating in a sweat lodge where extreme heat helps our spirit
to sweat the tears of trauma as we reflect on our own needs as well as
those of our people.

●      Family, Friends and Community:
Recognize that as relatives, we are all connected and share a trauma
bond born of historical and intergenerational trauma. As such, we must
acknowledge that part of our history to begin the healing journey for
ourselves and our people.

●      Bonding with Mother Nature:
Take a deep breath of fresh air. Walk in green grass with bare feet. A
physical connection to Mother Earth can lead to healing especially when
on ancestral lands.

●     Vacations:
A vacation can be as simple as vacating oneself from a bad conversation
or situation, but it can also include longer planned excursions such
as: taking a walk, visiting childhood playgrounds, or exploring distant
lands. Vacations can restore, refresh or reset a peaceful mindset and
spirit. 

For starters, you can practice self-love by:

●      Trusting yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. Trust your instincts. You know more than anyone what is best for you. 

●      Talking to and about yourself with love. Honor
yourself with praise and love for your personal and professional
achievements. Greet your daily activities with a determination to love
yourself. You are worthy. 

●      Giving yourself a break from self-judgment. Indigenous
people were harshly judged by people who didn’t understand our ways. We
lived in harmony with nature — that is something so special that it
shouldn’t be hard to see the good in our people. So go easy on yourself.
You deserve it. 

●      Forgiving yourself when you make a mistake. Survivors
of domestic and sexual violence are often blamed for their abuse.
Victim blaming relieves the perpetrator of any wrongdoing. Victims who
feel shame should feel strength and resilience in their ability to
survive. When you do make a mistake, understand that making mistakes is a
learning experience and that self-love and care includes forgiving
yourself.

●      Being nice to yourself. Understand
that violence against Indigenous peoples began with colonization and
healing from that trauma can begin with being nice to yourself. After
all, you deserve to be happy. 

●      Setting healthy boundaries. Set
healthy boundaries in all your relationships. You can start by telling
people when they’ve made you feel uncomfortable. Healthy boundaries may
also include ending an unhealthy relationship and doing so may also help
you to develop healthy relationships. 

Practice Self-Care 

Self-care
involves making healthy choices such as eating nutritious foods and
exercising. When you feel healthy, you are more likely to hold yourself
in high esteem. Self-care is especially important when setting a good
example for the next generation to witness and emulate. 

Go back to the basics:

●      Listen
to your body. If you are feeling tired — take a nap. If you are hungry —
eat nutritious food. If you are weak — get up and exercise.

●      Take breaks from work and move or stretch. Take a sandwich to work and walk off the calories during your breaks.

●      Put
the phone down. Instead, visit someone you’ve been missing or connect
with yourself by meditating or doing something creative.

●      Eat
healthily but allow yourself to indulge in your favorite foods. For
example, dark chocolate is high in antioxidants, which in moderation can
actually be good for you.

Self-love and care can include:

●      Mindfulness. Know what you think, feel and want.

●      Stay focused on your needs and give yourself what you would freely give to others.  

●      Practice
good self-care by eating healthily, exercising and getting enough sleep
which can lead to developing healthy social interactions and intimacy.

●      Give
yourself enough time and space to develop healthy habits. Do things,
not to “get them done” or because you “have to,” but because you “want
to” develop healthy habits.

Be kind, patient, gentle and compassionate to yourself. Take care of you the way you would take care of a loved one.  

●      Manage stress and go for regular medical check-ups.

●      Practice good hygiene because it is good for social, medical, and psychological reasons and reduces the risk of illness.

●      Do something you enjoy every day. Dance, watch a favorite TV show or work in the garden.  

●      Find ways to relax. Meditate, do yoga, get a massage, take a bath or walk in the woods. 

●      Build
a sense of belonging by making and maintaining new friendships.
Consider joining a health or social club. Sign up for art and/or
recreation classes where you can interact with and enjoy meeting new
people. 

At
StrongHearts Native Helpline, we understand that during Domestic
Violence Awareness Month we must be mindful of self-care and self-love
in our quest to heal. That is why it is so important for you to ask
yourself, “How do you heal?” and let the journey begin.

About StrongHearts Native Helpline

StrongHearts
Native Helpline is a 24/7 culturally-appropriate domestic, dating and
sexual violence helpline for Native Americans and Alaska Natives,
available by calling or texting 1-844-762-8483 or clicking on the chat
icon at strongheartshelpline.org.
Advocates offer peer support, crisis intervention, safety planning and
referrals to Native-centered services. StrongHearts Native Helpline is a
proud partner of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the
National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center.

Source 

1. Self-Love and What It Means. Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D. February 2020. https://bit.ly/3CkW3iV
2. Taking Good Care of Yourself. Mental Health America. https://bit.ly/3LUXuHN (Accessed Sept. 29, 2022)