Strong as a Willow

My youth disappeared

under spell and dominion,

too powerless, mute, and

too weak to protest



Maid, cook, whore, child

Necessary, I believed, so

I disappeared into their idea

of what I should be



I read their desires as directions

like their force, somehow

My illusion had to be protected

with all my energy and faith



I trusted I would be safe

I told myself it was love

and that it was worth it

I was wrong, I was as good as dead



I was incapable of love

to any degree

There was no emotion

Just a numb, frozen heart



I found memories of a little princess

whose father took his piece

then a procession of narcissists

who either betrayed or enslaved



Yet even a slave is rewarded

Angels arrive, teachers, books

that open my world of silence

and give me my voice



There is no worthless left

just a force and direction

There are beliefs that allow no weakness

and no men left to dominate desire



Now, as I choose,

I am safe within my own walls,

alive in my body, strong as a willow,

as wild, as free.





© 2010 Trace A. DeMeyer